Odin’s beard — why would you want such a thing, Greyface?
That is … that is conceding defeat!
This life is but an endless battle, you see! It is forever attempting to mock you, to best you; battle after battle, it is a vicious cycle. But you must not let it triumph over you! I know you are braver than that — I know that you have the capability to be the strongest warrior Midgard has ever seen!
When all seems lost, always remember to scrape yourself from the unforgiving earth and remind Life that it shall not be victorious. Not while there is air in your lungs, and blood ever-coursing through your veins!
And, Greyface — never forget that you always have a friend and ally in myself. That is essential, in this battle. Allies. One cannot win a war alone.
And you have one in me. I swear it to you.
It’s game season - both in the UK and US - and wings are an ideal finger food treat to keep you going, and keep your friends or punters drinking and yelling between bites. Bars across the USA make their name based on them (y’all do go to Hooters for the wings, right?)
However, certain American-themed places in Europe haven’t quite got the idea right. Mainly about the “hot” part. Or the “crispy” part. Or the “not covered in tasteless breading, hideously flabby and sick-making” part…
About the method: there are generally two methods for wings. Most connoisseurs agree an authentic buffalo wing should be fried: however, this also needs a proper deep fryer and a little experience to get perfect.
Grilling/broiling or barbecuing the wings can produce a slightly different but equally delicious experience, with less mess, less fuss and less likelihood of setting fire to your kitchen. Brining the wings first is optional, but will make the wings properly juicy and impart flavour even before the sauce goes on.
Speaking of saucing things up: I’m a bit of a fan of the stuff, and have listed my three most successful sauces and accompanying sprinkles. You should really develop your own to taste, mind - just remember you need sweet, heat, salt, tang and that mystical meaty “umami” to make your wings sing. A little booze doesn’t hurt either…
HIDEOUSLY OVERBLOWN LEGAL WARNING: raw chicken these days is generally a LOT safer than it used to be if you source it from a proper butcher and use it well before sell-by. However, make sure you keep it seperate from any cooked meats and wash your hands after handling it, or you may die. Horribly. Really. Dustin Hoffman in spacesuits job…
16 large, meaty chicken wings - preferably free range for flavour and texture
1 tsp Cayenne pepper
1 tsp Smoked paprika
1 tsp Crushed black pepper
For the brine (optional):
1 pint boiling water
1 cup salt
1 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp peppercorns
1 onion, quartered, skin on
1 dried chilli pepper
2 bay leaves
2 stems lemon thyme
1 pint light beer of your choice (mine: Woodforde’s Sundew)
Boil up the water with the salt and sugar until fully dissolved. Pull the brine off the heat and chuck the aromats (hey, technical!) into the hot liquor to infuse. Allow to cool, add the beer, then drop the wings into the brine with the ice cubes, ensuring the brine covers the wings. Leave for 6-12 hours.
When you’re ready to cook, drain the wings THOROUGHLY and pat dry with cloth. Place in a bag with the spices, shake, and then brush with your choice of sauce from the options below(or your own). Grill hard on each side for 8-10 minutes until skin is crispy and juices run clear.
Alternative 1: Bake at 425 F / 220 C / Gas 7 for 45 minutes, basting twice
Alternative 2: Bake at 425 F / 220 C / Gas 7 for 30 minutes, basting once: finish on a medium-hot BBQ, basting as needed.
Place 4 wings at a time in a jug or small saucepan with a tight-fitting lid. Add roughly half a cup of sauce. Shake in a circular motion to thoroughly coat with sauce. Shake over the the required topping for each recipe and serve with celery sticks and a blue cheese dip.
Now for the sauces…
SAUCE #1: Southern Belle
2 bell peppers
2 large sticks celery
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp butter
2 shots Gentleman Jack bourbon
1 400g can tomatoes
1 100g can tomato puree
1 small bottle gentle hot sauce (eg: Cholula)
Topping (per 4 wings):
2 spring onions (scallions), finely chopped
1 jalapeno, deseeded and finely chopped
Put the veg into a jug blender and chop finely. GENTLY sweat the resulting soffrito till coloured in the butter and oil. Raise heat, add bourbon and boil (or flame!) off the alcohol. Put back in the blender, add tomatoes and blitz. Return to the pan, stir through hot sauce and reduce slowly till quite thick, but do not allow to catch and burn. Set aside till needed.
SAUCE #2: Wango Tango
2 very ripe (or overripe) mangoes
Juice and zest of 2 limes - Key Limes if you can find them
2 tbsp mushroom ketchup
2 generous shots spiced rum
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Hot sauce to taste (recommended: Blair’s Q Heat Habanero-Mango OR Nando’s Xtra Hot Peri-Peri)
Topping (per 4 wings):
Toasted sesame seeds
Pinch of chopped chives
Skin and stone mangoes and pulp the flesh thoroughly in a jug blender with lime juice and zest. Gradually add hot sauce, tasting all the time and cleaning your palate with a sip of water between each taste. It should wind up *just* too hot for your palate (remembering the chicken flesh will dampen it a little).
Flame off the rum - or boil off the alcohol - in a pan, then add the mango mix. Stir through and reduce gently by about a third (WARNING: leaving this unattended for even a minute will cause it to catch and burn).
SAUCE #3: Atomic Anarchy Challenge Wings (WARNING: not kidding!)
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3 serrano chillies, finely chopped
2 jalapeno chillies, finely chopped
1 habanero chilli, finely chopped
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
100g tomato puree
2 tbsp tomato ketchup
125ml Smoked Habanero Tabasco Sauce
1 tsp Colman’s mustard powder
1 tbsp bitter chocolate, grated
Topping:(NB: toast all of these together in a hot, dry frying pan)
2 tbsp Sesame seeds
2 tbsp rock salt, finely crushed
1 tbsp dried chilli flakes
Melt butter in a frying pan. Gently sweat off the garlic, onions and chillies in the butter, then add tomato puree, ketchup and sauces and blend thoroughly in a jug blender. Gradually add chocolate - which will rapidly thicken the sauce, so you may not need it all. Enjoy with caution…
BLUE CHEESE DIP:
100g blue cheese of your choice
250ml sour cream
Blitz cheese and cream together in a jug blender till almost smooth, top with chives.
Trying to cook up something tasty when you’re restricted on fat can be a bit of a pain. But a little imagination and a lot of fresh flavours can get you through.
To serve 2:
2 turkey steaks (roughly 160g / 6.5oz each)
1 can chopped tomatoes
1 large onion, shredded
1 stock cube (chicken or wild mushroom)
1 large glass white wine
Fresh basil and parsley
Salt & Pepper
1. Make up a strong stock with about 150ml of boiling water. Poach the onion in the stock till golden & soft (about 5 mins in a pan or 3 mins in the microwave). Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 200 deg C/Gas 5.
2. Drain the onion shreds and spread evenly along the bottom of a baking dish. Lay the turkey steaks on top. Pour the can of tomatoes over the top.
3. Bake for 30 minutes. Open up the oven and put the mushrooms along the top of the dish, then return to the oven for another 30 minutes.
4. Remove from the oven and remove the steaks - cover and keep in a warm place to rest. Put the remainder of the dish in a frying pan, add wine, and reduce rapidly. Near the end, add shredded basil and parsley, taste and season.
5. Pile the tomatoes and onion mixture onto each plate, top with a turkey steak.
Whole lot comes in at 301 calories per serving, 40g protein, 2g of fat (1g saturated), 18g of carbs (8g sugar, 3g fibre).
Suggest you serve it with a baked spud or steamed green veg.
Dukan Nuggets - another lo-cal,high taste treat for you (& @DukanCoaching)
If you fancy a change in the way you use your daily oatbran ration,give this a try..
350g skinless chicken fillets,cut into strips or bite-size nuggets
1-2tsp cajun spice mix (to taste,depending on brand: I use Paul Prudhomme’s Blackened Chicken. Otherwise,mix your own using smoked paprika, garlic powder, celery salt, a grate or two of nutmeg and smoked chilli powder).
Salt and fresh ground black pepper
1 egg white
First,chuck the oatbran and spices in a dry frying pan and toast over a medium heat until lightly browned. Spread out on a cold plate or tray and allow to cool.
Place the chicken strips in the egg white and mix thoroughly. Roll each strip in the oat/spice mixture.
Heat a dry pan to very high heat. Pan fry the strips for a minute or two each side till the oats colour,then transfer to the oven to cook through (15min @ gas 5 should do it - should have crisped up on the outside and be thoroughly cooked but still juicy in the middle).
Serve with yoghurt & herb sauce (see previous entry) if you’re in Attack phase or a fresh-made tomato and herb salsa/pico de gaia if you’re in Cruise.
Briefly caught the lovely @Team_Barrowman on TV this morning.
Apparently there have been several hundred complaints both in the UK and the US about the new Torchwood:Miracle Day series.
Not about Jack being shot in the head… repeatedly.
Not about Jack apparently committing suicide and then walking away.
Not about Jack being hung from meathooks and literally drained of his blood for a crowd’s amusement.
Not about one of Jack’s team getting thrown in a toaster oven and crispyfied. (Not actually mentioned by John, but it’s a fucking horrible image that’s haunted my dreams for some time.)
No, the complaints would be about Captain Jack kissing another guy.
Erm… priorities, guys ‘n’ girls? Are we still of the opinion that you can put truly horrific violence out there and this is all fine and dandy, yet two guys, two girls, or even just regular old boys’n’girls get even mildly intimate and we’re breaking out the pitchforks and burning crosses?
So what do you think? Comments in the Notes or to @MsEmilyAnarchy please…
For those of you who are doing the Dukan or Atkins diets at the moment, here’s a tasty little fish dish that’ll keep you going.
First, make up a herb sauce - the following quantities make enough for about 3-4 servings…
1 large dessertspoon dijon mustard
1 egg yolk*
salt and pepper
2 large dessertspoonfuls finely chopped flatleaf parsley
2 large dessertspoonfuls finely chopped chives
1 finely chopped cornichon (small gherkin) (optional)
3-4 large dessertspoonfuls 0% fat creme fraiche or fromage frais
Salt and pepper
Mix the mustard, egg yolk and herbs in a small jug or steep sided bowl, preferably with a small whisk or fork. Once everything’s properly incorporated, add creme fraiche to taste - tasting as you go - and season. Rest in the fridge until needed.
To serve as above: pan-fry two salmon fillet steaks: heat the pan up first over a high heat, start them off skin-side down, and cook until done halfway up.
Flip ‘em (YOU SHOULD ONLY EVER BE FLIPPING THE ONCE!), turn off the heat and allow to finish gently in the remaining heat in the pan. Season the crispy skin just before serving.
Serve with the sauce - and if you’re not doing a pure protein day, add some steamed greens or a house salad on the side.
*raw egg yolks: you should all know by now. Don’t do it if you’re pregnant,already ill, have a known sensitivity or have any reason to distrust the source of your eggs. For everyone else, get tranny-tough and take it. Life’s too short to worry.
Comic retailers and collectors in the general St. Louis area should keep their eyes open for anyone selling Superman memorabilia and comics. A mentally disabled fan from Granite City, Illinois has been robbed of thousands of dollars worth of his personal collection.
A mentally disabled man was tricked and robbed by a jackass of some of his most precious items.
Please reblog this. Get the word out! Let’s help this guy recover his items from this scumbag.
Stuff like this makes me want to cry :’(
Why would you ever do this? ;~;
This makes me so angry.
This is not acceptable.